The Holiday season is probably the loneliest season for a single Mamma. And the most frustrating and heart wrenching. Last year I didn't bother with our outdoor lights. And they have been boxed and wrapped up for over 2 years just as my ex-husband left them until now. This year I decided I would conquer the lights. And last night I did just that.
Me – 1 Christmas lights – 0.
Turns out it isn't as hard as it seems. And it feels good to put up all of our decorations just like we always did before.
As I was putting them up I cried a little bit. A little for having to yet again go through the Christmas season again as a divorced family.
But I cried more for how far we have come. Last year it wasn't in my heart or soul to put up outside lights. This year I was excited about it.
Last year I couldn't afford to buy Jaxon any gifts. Luckily all of his grandparents spoil him like crazy so he had so many toys he didn't even know what to do with them all. But not having money for your baby for a Christmas present. That will tear a mamma's heart up. What we did have was a roof over our heads and food in our bellies so I knew we were blessed. We were so blessed. But I would be lying if I denied that I wished I had more to give him that year.
This year I do. He already has presents in my closet just waiting for Christmas day. I was able to buy my baby a few presents this year. Not many, but enough. That my friends is progress. That is big progress!
I can't always see it in front of me everyday. I see more of my failures than I see my accomplishments, isn’t that how we all feel as parents? We fail more than we succeed most days, or it at least it feels that way.
But truly, we have truly come so far. God has wrapped us in His Grace this year and blessed me more than I can even fathom. My home is busting at the seams this year with Christmas goodness and blessings.
Even our tree is a Christmas tree of Hope. When my ex-husband left, our Christmas tree was destroyed by mice. Ironically, it seemed to symbolize how everything had been destroyed. My Mom bought me a super cute little tree at the thrift store that year and a few vintage ornaments. We didn't' have much, but we had a tree. Having a tree gave me hope for a better future.
And guess what? This year our tree is busting at the seams with decorations. I’m so very proud of our tree of Hope. I will probably keep it forever.
Our life is full. Our life is Blessed. God is so very good.
I hope this season you can see how far you have come too and take a minute to be grateful for the progress you made this year.
As we celebrate Christmas this year and the end of 2012, I think we should celebrate all that we have accomplished and overcome. I know you too have as many blessings as I do to be grateful for!